The Eclectic Female: Lifestyle Blog For Women

For all of you high school girls out there

 You don’t have to be told that prom requires a lot of planning and preparation. Although prom plans can sometimes seem more important than studying for a test and tend to creep to the top of your to do list, it doesn’t mean prom planning has to stress you out. The trick is to start early and stay organized.
      That may be easier said than done. So, in case you feel lost as to how to even begin planning for your prom, here’s a checklist of some of the common things needed to have arranged prior to prom night:
      Several months in advance – note: these activities are most important to take care of early on because there is a good chance other schools in your city will have prom the same weekend as you, and such things as limousines and beach houses are limited. To get the dress or hotel room you  want, you must act early.

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  • Choose your prom group and make a commitment to that group – Whether you’re planning to go with just your date or arrange a group party for prom, it’s important to get yourself included early on before any set arrangements get made
  • Find a prom dress and shoes – Shopping early is a good idea in case you can’t find a dress you like and you decide to custom-make something or the dress doesn’t fit right and you need it altered
  • Decide mode of transportation – If you want to rent a limousine or party bus, begin researching various companies and decide which one will fit your budget, then go ahead and make a reservation
  • Post-party spot - This element of prom is usually the most expensive aspect of your prom planning, so renting a beach house or reserving a hotel room should definitely be a top priority in the early part of your prom planning 

      Month or so in advance

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  • Make pre-party arrangements – It’s a good idea to get your group together prior to prom to take pictures and celebrate. Hiring a caterer and finding reservations at a nice restaurant will become increasingly difficult as the date gets closer
  • Hair and makeup appointments – Making an appointment at least a month in advance is necessary to be able to schedule these appointments in conjunction with each other (hair first, then makeup), not to mention every other senior girl in the city will be vying for that ideal appointment time
    • Makeup tip: get your makeup done at a cosmetic counter like Bobbi Brown in a department store – not only do they do a good job and are quick, but the makeover only costs what you want to pay – I suggest buying the lip gloss they used on you: not only is that one of the least expensive items, but it’s also nice to have for touch-ups)

      Week or so in advance

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  • Make sure your date has ordered the corsage and that the color and style of the corsage will go well with your dress (white is a classic choice)
    • Also, make sure the corsage has a band that will slip onto your wrist (you’d be surprised, there are corsages that come with just a ribbon and no band, so to avoid scrounging around for a safety pin, make sure your date is very specific when he orders the corsage)

      Few days before

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  • Any additional beautifying activity you do (pedicure, eyebrow wax, facial) - Just in case something goes wrong, taking care of these things a few days in advance allows time for the redness to subside or to fix chipped nail polish

      Feeling overwhelmed? Understandable. But prom is supposed to be a fun experience, so to rid yourself of some of the stress, just stay organized and find ways to ease some of the pressure you feel. Here are some tips:
      To stay organized,

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  • Create deadlines for yourself – Something similar to the checklist above will help you define your priorities and stay on task
  • Write down everything – It’s important to keep track of all the information you have gathered because there will be millions of different times, prices, appointments, and people owing you money – so, to avoid confusion, just write it all down and you won’t have to worry about forgetting what time the limo is coming

      To ease some of that pressure,

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  • Include your prom date in on some of the planning - Delegate some of the work to him by saying, “You take care of the limo for us and I’ll make sure we’re all set for the beach house.” He should be more than willing to help out (if not, then it might be time to get yourself a new prom date)
  • Make sure everyone in your group is dependable and is constantly communicating the arrangements - If you’re aware of what’s going on, you’ll feel in control and much less stressed
  • Take a break, and don’t think about prom for a week or so - There are other things in life than prom, and letting yourself step away from it all for a little while may help put it in perspective
  • Remember that, if all else fails, the important thing is to be with friends - Even if forgetting to reserve the limo means that your mom has to drive you to prom, think of it this way: you’ll be the one with the “my mom drove me to my prom” story that you and your friends will laugh about for years to come. And isn’t that what prom is really all about anyway?

A lot of people try to stay friends after a relationship breaks up. While many try, most fail. I believe post-breakup relations are primarly the result of how the relationship ended. If the couple doesn’t have much contempt for each other, then I think a friendship is a real possibility. Both can think of each other lovingly; thinking of the other person doesn’t drudge up bad feelings and memories.

 Also, a lot depends on who did the dumping. Obviously, a mutual breakup is best but that doesn’t happen very often. If the person who did the dumping had the power during most of the relationship, I’d say the relationship post-breakup is doomed. The person who got dumped likely has a lot of contempt for the dumper/wants to get back into the relationship.

What’s one of the best ways to save money? Window shopping, and not because you’re not buying. By “window shopping,” we’re not necessarily talking about a literal walking past the windows of outside stores or those in a mall. Rather, we mean comparison shopping, regardless of how you do so. So, for example, this could be done very simply on the Internet as well as around physical shops.

Window shopping lets you, the consumer, stay informed about available products, pricing in your area and upcoming sales. Most shoppers know the best techniques to find great deals, but how you have confidence that you have actually found one can be a little more difficult.

Did you know that almost 90 percent of shoppers do some sort of physical window shopping before they actually commit to a purchase? That statistic doesn’t even include shoppers who investigate and research a product or retailer online.

When it comes to furniture shopping, window shopping is a great way to keep an eye out for bargains, get a real feel for the products and materials that you’re interested and get to know the retailers in your area or online. If you can make the time, a few trips to the store before you actually make that furniture purchase is all part of consumer research.

Did you know that almost 20 percent of Google’s web searches are consumer or purchasing related? That’s billions of searches everyday looking for information on particular products, brands, retailers or sales.

To really get the full benefit of a window shopping experience, try actually going into the store. You’ll get the opportunity to actually feel the furniture fabric and even sit on it to gauge its comfort level for you and family members. That tactile experience goes well beyond anything the Internet can offer.

There’s another advantage to window shopping, and that’s price awareness. Once you have your radar turned on and your eyes looking out for a particular product, you start to notice price fluctuations.

You will spot flyers advertising furniture sales and billboards boasting great deals on living room sets. As you build up a price awareness over the weeks or months that you’re window shopping, you increase your knowledge and confidence as a consumer, meaning you’re more likely to spend less on your next furniture purchase and purchase what you really want for your home.

In short, window shopping is a great way to save money on your next furniture purchase. So, if you’re saving up now or planning to buy within the next few months, it’s time to get your glasses out, but not your wallet, and start “shopping” before you buy.

Let’s just face it after a divorce, relationships with the ex-spouse can be a little strained. If you’re one of the fortunate few who has always had a great relationship with their ex, then kudos for you. For the rest of us, let’s look at some specific steps you can take to try to move the relationship in a more positive direction.

1. Acknowledge that it’s uncomfortable - It doesn’t matter whether this is jsaid just to yourself or aloud to your ex. The point is to recognize it. That’s the first step in being able to fix anything.

2. Deal with your junk - You need to deal with any feelings you have about the divorce. Holding onto anger, resentment and hurt as a result of the divorce will make it almost impossible for you to be able to have a civil relationship with your ex-spouse. Just talking to them (or even hearing their voice) will cause all of those emotions to come flooding in and you won’t be able to make good decisions.

3. Your attitude - Change your perspective on the way you view this person. I recently had a coaching client who had a unique solution to this. He never refers to his ex-wife as his “ex”. Instead he calls her “my boys’ mom.” Ex-spouse has a negative connotation of someone from your past. Instead, he’s choosing to focus on the relationship they have together now - raising their boys.

4. Don’t let them push your buttons - This person knows you well. They know just what to do or say to hurt you if they want to. Rather than allow yourself to fall for that same script of arguments, turn the other cheek. I know it’s MUCH easier said than done, but what’s the alternative? You’ll just end up in the same argument you’ve had a million times.

5. Be respectful of their new life - You each have your own lives now with separate schedules and responsibilities. Try to be respectful of these, especially when it comes to their parenting time. Don’t just assume it’s ok for them to switch days with you or for you to drop the kids off an hour early.

6. Go out of your way to be kind - Have you ever heard the phrase, “kill them with kindness”? I know this is a hard one. If the relationship is especially difficult though, something needs to be done to make it better. Someone has to make the first move. Why can’t it be you? It’s not about being a doormat and letting them walk all over you. It’s more about you taking the first step. This is done more for yourself and your children than it is for your ex-spouse.

Ultimately, all of these actions are not only in your best interest but also the best interests of your children. While divorce is difficult for kids, the research shows time and time again that it is heart breaking for them when their parents don’t get along.

Does this stuff sound easy? I doubt it. But, the big take away for you is that while you have no control over how your ex-spouse treats you or responds, you have COMPLETE control over YOUR actions and your responses. Make them good ones.

Tax deadline is now less than a month away! If you haven’t already filed for your refund (or perhaps paying more in tax), it’s a good time to start looking into it!

It’s gorgeous. You have your dream wedding dress and at last the search is over.

But what about the jewelery and the tiara to match it? Maybe you’ve never worn a tiara before and do you need a necklace, bracelet, earrings to go with it as well?

Usually the most important planning is for the dress and then the jewelery is chosen to go with it. Only occasionally as a jeweler have I met brides who have chosen their jewelery and then embarked on a search for a dress. I once spoke to a young woman who was looking for a wedding ring and I asked when her wedding was. She replied that she hadn’t met a man yet - she just fancied having the ring first - but that’s another story.

So here is a general guide to buying your wedding jewelery. Of course all these guides and rules can be broken - if it feels right for you, then that’s all right.

The necklace is usually the easiest to decide on because you will already know what sort of thing you like. If the design of the dress is very elaborate, then choose a simple necklace and let the shape of the necklace follow the neckline. For instance, a “v” shaped dress looks good with a necklace. A gentle scooped neckline looks good with a round shaped necklace. An off-the-shoulder dress can look stunning with a choker or collar necklace. If the dress is more plain in style then the more elaborate the necklace can be. In this case, a matching bracelet or drop earrings can also complement the outfit. Brides with long necks can wear an elaborate necklace and long drop earrings very well. With a shorter neck, it’s best to wear necklaces a bit lower.

The tiara is the hardest to decide on. It’s not something you can wear every day as you can with the necklace, earrings and bracelet. It’s a good idea to try on as many tiaras as you can and see what suits the shape of your face. When you begin trying them on you may be surprised to discover that what you had been certain about, isn’t right for you. Generally, tall curvy girls can look really good in a bold, large tiara and can take a tiara of 3 inches or 7 cms high. Smaller girls look best in a more dainty tiara with a height of up to 1.5 inches or 3 cms.

A lot of my customers worry about how to wear a tiara, thinking there are definite rules - but there aren’t : it just depends how it looks. Most tiaras are malleable to some extent so don’t be afraid to adjust the base so that it fits more comfortably. Do you wear the tiara at the front or the back of your head? Again that’s up to you - and possibly your hairdresser to decide - but they can be held in place with a small hole in the back or even with a pair of plastic combs attached at the back.

If your tiara is very bold or elaborate choose a simple necklace or even omit the necklace and keep the earrings to a simple stud. This will ensure that the focal points of your dress look just right. If the necklace is highly elaborate, then perhaps a flower or comb at the back or the side of the head rather than a tiara keeps the balance just right.

Finally, remember this is just a general guide and once again, rules can be broken - because once you look in the mirror and smile, you know it’s right!

To see our range of tiaras, necklaces, bracelets and earrings, visit our web site: http://www.zinniajewellery.co.uk

For examples of gold and silver jewellery visit the Zinnia Jewellery website

http://www.zinniajewellery.co.uk
John Cartman is the co-owner of Zinnia Jewellery and sells gold and silver jewellery at fairs and exhibitions in the UK.

Copyright J.Cartman 2008

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As I’ve gotten older, I’ve noticed that more and more of my girlfriends are quicker to find boyfriends than in the past. I remember in high school, it was a rarity for a couple to get together. Now, it seems people just jump from relationship to relationship. Perhaps people are better able to relate to others as we get older. Or maybe, we all just get a little less picky! Could it be that men are all much more alike than different, so it really doesn’t matter which one you choose? We’ll see. I feel like the bond between two people that grows over time is more important than chemistry. While it’s great to hit it off, the trust and faith you have through a developed friendship is something that cannot be replaced.

Tiger Woods, Dr. Benjamin Carson, Oprah Winfrey and Venus and Serena Williams are born in an American society where well over forty percent of prison inmates and students in special education share their ethnic background. Many researchers would argue that because of their race or ethnic background they would confront additional psychological and economical obstacles than non-minorities that would make it extremely difficult for them to be successful.

Regardless of their chosen profession, what Tiger Woods, Dr. Benjamin Carson, Oprah Winfrey and Venus and Serena Williams have in common is not their race, money or level of education; what they have in common is good old fashioned, down-to-earth, excellent parenting. Most parents would like to believe that there is some type of magic in raising successful children because it relieves them from the guilt of not giving their children the proper spiritual, psychological, and emotional skills that they need to be successful in life. What do Beethoven, Thomas Edison, and Sigmund Freud have in common with Tiger Woods, Oprah Winfrey, Venus and Serena Williams and Dr. Benjamin Carson? You guessed it! Excellent parents. Quality parenting has nothing to do with whether or not a child is raised in a two-parent or single-parent home; what matters the most is the parent’s ability to instill in their child an impervious sense of self-worth, self-respect and self-love.

Listed below are the secrets to raising extraordinarily successful children:

Model appropriate behavior
1. Model the behavior that you expect from your child. Many parents believe that it is okay to tell their children, “do as I say and not as I do.” Studies show that if the parent smokes, there is a high chance that the child will also smoke. Don’t tell your children to read, when they have never seen you pick up a book. Don’t ask your children to clean their bedroom when your bedroom is a mess. I worked in the child welfare system for 13 years helping to reunite families. One of the most important lessons that I learned from working with parents whose children were removed from their home due to neglect and/or abuse is that even when parents didn’t think their children knew that they were using illegal drugs, drinking excessively, or having multiple sex partners; during family counseling sessions, the parents were surprised to learn that their children were always aware of their behavior and viewed them as hypocrites and liars. Do and be all of the things that you want your children to do and be.

Give them Self-esteem
2. Children see themselves through their parent’s eyes. When you smile at them they feel loved and accepted. Children are constantly looking into your eyes for approval and validation of their self-worth. Babies are capable of detecting their parent’s emotions that even the parent is not aware that they are emitting such as anger, guilt and sadness. If the parent refers to the child as dumb, stupid, or clumsy this is how the child will perceive herself. Do not call your child derogatory names because this becomes a part of their psychological dictionary of their self concept. Tell your child how wonderful, smart and intelligent he is. Tell her that it is okay to make mistakes and let them try again. Let the child help you make rules and consequences for breaking them for the home. Give them chores. Children, like adults, feel good about themselves when they feel that they are contributing to their own well-being to the best of their ability.

Teach Self-Discipline
3. Teaching a child to control their own behavior in spite of their moods or feelings is the greatest gift that a parent can give their child. Self-discipline will give the child the confidence to excel in every area of their life. Self-discipline is the skill that will help them understand when they have had too much to drink or that they need to get enough sleep at night to perform well on a test the next day. The secret to teaching self-discipline is to coordinate must-do-tasks with enjoyable activities. All children should have a study schedule. A time that is set a side just for doing homework. The study schedule should not conflict with their favorite television show, sports or other activities. Your child can reward themselves by spending time on their myspace account, talking on the phone or visiting friends.

Teach Critical Thinking
4. Teach your children to ask questions, gather facts and make decisions on their own regardless of the source of information. When you are watching cartoons or primetime shows with your children ask them if they think the show should have ended differently and why. Read stories to your children and ask them whether or not they think the story is plausible. Ask your child their opinion about various topics and ask them to support their answers with evidence. Giving your child the ability to think critically and analyze situations from various perspectives and viewpoints is the greatest gift that you could ever give them to live harmoniously in a multi-cultural society. When a child is able to critically think for herself and make rational sound decisions; they will be less likely to engage in sexual activity, use illegal substances or participate in gangs. They will be able to determine if their actions are taking them closer to their life goals or further from their life goals. Most importantly, they will not make their decisions based on whether or not they will be caught or punished by authorities; they will make their decision based on their conscience of what is right and wrong. Teach them that greatness is not always about having the right answers or pleasing others; greatness is about asking the important questions and doing what is right, even if you stand alone.

Sense of Purpose
5. Find out what your child is naturally good at and give them as many opportunities as possible to express their natural gifts and talents. Include these activities when helping them to do their home work. Study Howard Gardener’s 9 Types of intelligence and analyze which type of intelligence best fit your child. Read data about learning styles and determine if your child is a left or right brain learner, and how they best process data in terms of whether the information is auditory, visual or kinesthetic. Some children do not fit into society’s standard mode of intelligence and are labeled as academic poor achievers. However these same children may be gifted at building things, painting, drawing or creating music. It is important for parents to tell their children that they were born with the perfect physical and intellectual gifts and talents to make their dreams come true. Birds were born with wings to fly, not to swim under water. Let your children know that there is a special place in the world just for them. Teach them to appreciate who they are when no one is looking.

Mental Toughness
6. We have all heard the saying, “Sticks and stones may break my bones but word will never hurt me.” Yet, we all know, that nothing hurts the human soul more than words. I bet you can immediately think of three or more times that someone has said something to you that hurt you so deeply that you could not sleep at night. You teach your children to be mentally tough by telling them that the most important person’s opinion of them that matters is their own and secondly, would be the opinion of someone who loves them deeply. Tell your child that people with fake confidence only believe in themselves when they are winning or things are going their way. People with real confidence believe in themselves regardless of the outcome because they only focus on the things that they can control. Teach them that they can not control the grade that the teacher will give them after a test; they can only control how long they study and how well they prepare before the test. Teaching a child to be mentally tough is teaching them to focus on the things that they can control and to ask themselves honestly, “Did I do my best?” If they can answer yes. There next question should be, “What can I do differently next time?”

Compassion
7. Compassion is the universal language of feelings, emotions and morality. Teaching your child about compassion does not always include man-made laws and rules because these laws have created unspeakable conditions of human suffering such as slavery and what happened to the Jews. Teach your children that if they want to know how someone would feel or whether or not an act is right or wrong, tell them to ask themselves, “Do I want this to happen to me or someone I love dearly?” Their answer will connect them to the sincerest form of compassion that is connected to all of humanity.

Cassandra George Sturges MA, MA, Psy.D is a mother of two teenagers, a full-time psychology instructor, advice columnists for Today’s Black Woman Magazine, Seminar facilitator, author of “A Woman’s Soul on Paper” ISBN: 0595171435. Dr. Sturges is the author and publisher of Authentik Beauty Magazine. A 1 year subscription to Authentik Beauty Magazine is only $49.99 for 6 issues; mail request to: Authentik Beauty Magazine, P.O. Box 980679, Ypsilanti, MI 48197. Caution: Articles and clipart are sensuously and beautifully designed for a mature audience only. We accept cash, checks & all major credit cards. If you are seeking retail therapy or the perfect gift for someone else, I am an independent AVON representative, shop my website at http://csturges.avonrepresentative.com

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I had been dating a waiter for about 3 weeks.  One weekend, he called me while I was working overnight at the hospital.  I got home and listened to the voice mail:  “Hey, I was just calling to see what you were up to.  Call me back whenever you get this.”  Cool, I thought, in my sleep-deprived state.  I threw my phone back on the floor and collapsed into my blankets to finally cool off my over-worked brain.

Three days later, I hear my phone ringing while I’m in the shower.  I run out of my bathroom, soaking wet, a torrent of steam behind me, and manage to answer before my voicemail picks up.  “Hey! What’s up?  Sorry I didn’t call you back earlier.”  “Yea,” he replies. “I was kinda’ expecting a phone call,” he laughs one of those it’s-not-really-funny laughs.  “I’m sorry, I was busy,” I say.  “You’re busy.  I’m busy.  We’re all busy.”

I wanted to say “Yes, but if you screw up at work, the worst that could happen is that someone chokes on a bone or maybe has an anaphylactic reaction because they have are allergic to the seafood or peanuts that you accidentally brought them, whereas if I screw up, someone stops breathing or dies of a heart attack or gets kidney failure from the drug I accidentally give to them.”  Instead, I say, “I’ll call you.”  “Forget about phone calls,” he says.  I laugh, one of those it’s-not-really-funny laughs.  “I’ll call you,” I repeat, before hanging up on him.

I thought about what he said, though.  It was true, to some extent.  We’re all busy.  And if someone is not engaging enough to tear you away from your busy life, are they really worth it?  If they are already complaining, after 3 weeks, that you’re not giving them enough attention, what will they do later in the relationship?  If they’re bringing you more stress than joy, is there a point in continuing to see them?  My answer, ultimately, was no.  No, we’re not right for each other, and no, it’s not worth it.

A few weeks later, my friends and I were walking home from a big party downtown.  My phone started ringing.  I picked it up and saw his name.  I turned the phone off and stuck it back in my pocket and continued my conversation with my friends.

Later, when I listened to the voice mail, I hear “Hey! I saw you walking down the street and I tried shouting your name, [pause here as he tries to shout my name out of his car window again] but I don’t think you heard me.”  So, that means he probably saw me picking up my phone and putting it back in my pocket.  Oops!

Oh well, my loss.  Or his.  Depends on how you look at it.

Hmmm, maybe I’ll hang on to the birth control for a bit longer

With the advent of modern-day birth control, people are better able to control when they start a family. Not only is bringing a child into the world a heavy responsibility, the pregnancy itself can be quite cumbersome. Here are some things to think about:

1. Are you financially ready to have a baby? Raising a child can be very expensive. While finances shouldn’t deter your from starting a family if you really want one, be prepared for a higher strain on your finances. You’ll be spending less time in the mall for yourself and more time in the baby aisles of the supermarket.

2. Are you emotionally ready to have a baby? It is much easier to raise a child with a loving partner. Having a baby often puts a strain on the marriage, since the raising of a child can be quite stressful.

3. Is your biological clock ticking? While the above two questions might make you want to put off having a baby, remember that you only have so much time to have a child. It is much easier for a woman to have a healthy baby in her 20′ and 30’s than if she attempts to do so in her 40’s. While modern medicine can cure a lot of diseases, it still cannot turn back the biological clock.

Asking yourselves these three questions might make having a baby feel like a cold, calculative decision, like buying real estate or deciding whether to invest in a business. Obviously, starting a family is highly emotional and something only the heart can decide. Nevertheless, it’s good to rationally think about your decision to have a baby. After all, you are creating a new human, someone that needs to be looked and cared after.

Charles writes for a pregnancy website that is a complete resource for new mothers, including information such as pregnancy nutrition and pregnancy stages.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Charles_Johnson