The Eclectic Female: Lifestyle Blog For Women

The timeless quote “Know Thyself” is a valuable sentiment that has led millions of people to embark on a lifelong journey of self discovery. As children we feel that ‘knowing’ within us. We just Know that we know it all and that we could not possibly see the world any differently no matter how old we get. But of course, with age, comes that realization that tends to lead us to wishes of reversing time, in hopes of regaining that sense of all-knowingness and that higher self we once knew as children.

We knew exactly what we wanted to do, who we wanted to be, and where we wanted to go. For some reason, as we age, it becomes apparent that there are more choices and the we should discover a new meaning and new path for ourselves to accommodate the discovery of all of these new options. We are our own best friend as children and somehow that fades. Instead of knowing ourselves inside and out we become dependant on others for recognition and understanding. We lose our independence, pass far beyond interdependence, and end up stuck I dependancy.

We must regain that self-friendship. We must remember how wonderful it was to know ourselves and truly appreciate ourselves. We had dreams, like paved roads, ready to follow and we need to rediscover that path. To know thyself is to understand the what’s, why’s, and how’s of our life. When we were young we were pure love and pure hope and all of that hope and love was bottled inside ready to explode. And somehow the environment of adulthood taught us to forget why we are here.

Begin to rediscover your inner friendship. Begin by counting your blessing everyday. Be thankful for what you have. Then start erasing. Sit down with a pad and paper and have an ‘inside’ conversation. Let go of all of the old, innate, thoughts and pictures that have ended with your unhappiness. Think back to your childhood and remember those things that brought you the most hope and the things that radiated from you with precise knowing. Did you dream of being a nurse? A writer? A cartoonist? Embrace yourself for who and what you are and let go of all the impressions that were forced upon you. If you are living the life that someone else set-up for you, and you are miserable, then reconsider. It is possible for us to meet ourselves again for the first time, give a hug to your inner child, and learn the important lessons all over again.

Don’t live the life of someone else. Live your life as you wanted to live it. It is easy for us to veer off of our hearts path as we grow up, but when we take the time to make a new friendship within ourselves and start over, we can be amazed at how quickly our inner child reminds us of our forgotten dreams. Reinvent the friendship with yourself.

You are out having a great time when suddenly your smile begins to fade, your muscles get tight, and you are tense all over. Just that quick, a perfectly careless moment, takes on a completely different texture. An intricate tangle of feelings and emotions begin to intertwine deep within you. It feels like your heart and soul have been drawn into a rigid, unyielding, knot in the pit of your stomach. 

You aren’t dying, you only feel like you are. You are experiencing an acute jealous moment. Relax, it’s a perfectly normal emotion, and it usually passes pretty quickly. It happens to the best of us. Anybody who says they never have them, is either out of touch with their emotions, or not being completely honest.  

These are small, but significant wrinkles in time, so it’s important to understand why a perfectly calm, secure, good natured person could feel this way. One of the most common instigators is the absurdly hot girl or guy, that everybody wants to be with, or wants to look like. Or the co-worker who always seems to be a few steps ahead of everybody else. And everybody has a friendly neighbor with the, Better Homes and Gardens, yard. Sometimes none of these things will cause that familiar pang of jealousy. It just depends on a person’s state of mind and the situation.  Of course a really insecure person can get jealous of just about anything. That is not normal or healthy, and needs to be looked into. 

Having a bad day, or even a bad week, can set this emotion off. Whatever the reason this phenomenon takes place, it can be handled with grace until the urgency of the moment passes. Taking deep slow breaths and re-focusing our energy is very helpful. 

Every day, relationships are destroyed because of irrational jealousy or insecurity. The victim who forfeits their control, to the coveting of others, loses sight of themselves, and is blinded by the light of another.  

Each time this feeling is allowed to get a good workout, the control over our healthy thoughts gets weaker. There are people who are willing to go to any lengths to have what they see others having. Living like this brings only temporary satisfaction. The degrees of jealousy can vary from benign, to outright irrational and outrageous. Out of control jealousy can lead to stalking or worse. Some people adopt that old saying “the grass is always greener on the other side” as their mission statement. Not a good idea. 

It is wise to remember that there will always be somebody who is better at something, or has more of something, than we do. There is no way to be the best at everything, all the time. Everybody has there bad days and their good days. There is no reason to feel threatened by somebody else’s light. Be happy for it, as it may light your way one day. We all have our own light that gets as bright as we let it, if we let it.  

There is a saying that could qualify as words to live by. “When the grass looks greener on he other side of the fence, start watering yours more.”                   

One of the first places job seekers turn to these days is the Internet. Job search websites offer listings of available positions, as well as many other important resources. CareerBuilder.com, Yahoo Inc.’s HotJobs.com, and Monster.com, for instance, offer informative articles, video tutorials, and much more. When it comes to looking for a job through these sites, remember that it is not always easy. Hundreds and thousands of people have access to the websites. Both employers and recruiters post job openings on these sites. Therefore, companies that post open positions are usually flooded with resumes and cover letters from applicants. Do not get discouraged. You never know when you might get a call. Keep on checking these sites and subscribe to get updates about new jobs via email. You cannot do enough during your search.

First, make sure that your cover letter and resume is powerful and free of errors. It is the first impression you will be making when you apply to a job. If you are applying to a specific position, make sure that you customize your resume the job. Emphasize experiences and skills that match the requirements of the position.

Besides applying to positions, post your resume online for companies to view. Employers and recruiters do check for resumes on these sites. Whether you apply to the jobs or keep your resume online, remember to include keywords in your resume and profiles. Companies often run online searches and, therefore, if you want to discovered, you need to include the right keywords. Most sites allow you to post your resume for no charge. Very few sites actually successfully charge applicants for this service. Executive job sites are among the limited that charge applicants and maintain to stay successful. This is because executive level jobs are seldom posted anywhere else.

When it comes to storing your resume on sites, remember that you can store more than one version of it. This is very useful since jobs come with different emphasis points and you can send in a resume that highlights different skills of yours.

Further, some employment websites offer an application that you can fill. It may be inconvenient to fill in this form, especially when you feel like your resume covers all the information that is necessary, but some sites might still feel it necessary to have everything in a standard format.

Online job searches can get overwhelming since there are tens of thousands of job sites dedicated to the purpose. Make sure that you go with a few sites only. You do not need to register with every job site out there. Remember that there are plenty of job scams out there. Watch out for that. Quality is much more important that quantity. Ask your friends for referrals and do your research to help decide what works for you. Make sure you are using a legitimate and safe site. Do not be too quick to trust. We wary of job sites that provide free job postings. This may be a sign of a scam.

There are many children today that are learning two languages as they grow up.  This can be the result of living in a home that is bilingual, or there could be relatives that don’t live with the child, but are teaching the child their language.  However, more often than not, parents are taking it upon themselves to teach their young children another language either from coaching at home or by enrolling their children in a preschool that teaches an additional language.  Although all of these methods are effective, which teaching avenue is the best for teaching a young child a second language?

The truth of the matter is that they all are.  No matter which way a young child learns a second language, the point is that they learn, and they learn more easily than they will as adults.  There are some things you can do, however, to help your child learn faster and more thoroughly.

If your child is already immersed in a bilingual culture, all the better.  Immersion is one of the best ways for anyone – whether a child or an adult – to learn a second language.  Not only will they get the benefit of learning another culture and some of its traditions, they’ll pick up on the conversational speech within the home.  This will help in both languages and they’ll be able to instinctively understand things like grammar and pronunciation techniques without long lessons.  This will normally happen without specific teachings, as children often mimic what they hear.  As long as proper grammar and pronunciation is used frequently within the household, there should be very little problem with the basic words and phrases.  Of course, as the child gets older, there will be a need for more structured grammar, spelling, and pronunciation lessons.

However, if your household is not bilingual, you’ll have to find other ways to expose your children to another language.  There are some great software suites available nowadays that are geared towards young children learning a second language.  Many of these have different learning programs and levels of difficulty, so your child can continue to use them as they get older.  These programs typically combine fun games with learning tools to maximize the time spent in front of the computer. 

There are also great shows on television that help promote a second language.  Most are geared towards children who are learning both Spanish and English.  Shows like Sesame Street, Dora the Explorer and Blues Clues teach Spanish words and phrases, and while these aren’t complete lessons of course, ever little bit of learning will help.  If your children enjoy these programs, they may be interested in pursuing more formal language education as they grow older.

Teaching a young child a second language may not be as hard as you think.  Children are naturally eager to learn and eventually they’ll realize that another language is a good thing to know.  It takes time to become fluent, but it’s much easier to learn as a child than as an adult.  Take the time now to teach your child while they’re still small – they’ll appreciate it later on.

Buying a new car can be a frustrating process.  On top of sorting through the hundreds of makes and models on the market today, you’ll have to negotiate with pushy sales people and hunt down car loans – a process that’s becoming even more complicated in the current economic climate.  And once you’ve found a loan opportunity, you may find yourself feeling frustrated by the complicated terms, such as the interest rate and what should be included in the loan amount.  If you’re feeling overwhelmed, read the following advice for more information:

Typically, there are three major elements of a car loan – the loan amount, the interest rate you pay, and the length of the loan.  Let’s look at each of these in a little more detail.

Loan amount

On the surface, the loan amount can seem pretty straightforward – just like buying a house, if you want to buy a $20,000 car, you take out a $20,000 loan.  However, there are a number of different things you should consider.  Before you even set foot on the lot, you need to take a look at your budget and determine what you can reasonably afford.  Just don’t forget to take into account the other expenses associated with owning a car.  If you can afford to spend $500 each month on a car, you need to also take into account the amount you’ll spend on insurance and maintenance and find a car that’s monthly payments will be below that $500 threshold.

Loan interest rates

In order to stay in business, banks and other creditors charge an interest fee, typically expressed as a percentage of the total loan amount.  For car loans, interest rates generally fall between 5-12% of the loan amount.  Because of the way interest is compounded, you won’t just be paying a one-time fee – you’ll actually be paying significantly more over the life of the loan.  For example, if you take out a 36-month $20,000 loan at 8%, you won’t just be paying $1,600 ($20,000 x 8%) – you’ll actually pay $2,562.18 in interest before the loan is paid off.  With this in mind, you can see how important it is to get the lowest interest rate possible on your loan.

Loan length

The length of the loan refers to the amount of time you’ll have to pay back the money you borrowed.  Typically, car loans range in length from 24-60 months, although some companies are offering even longer terms to help qualify more borrowers.  The longer you stretch out your payments, the lower your monthly payments will be.  However, this doesn’t mean you should stretch out the loan as long as possible.  If you’re buying a used car with 150,000 miles on it already, taking out a five year loan doesn’t make sense, since the car isn’t likely to last that long!  The last thing you want is to have your car die after two years when you still have another three years or more in payments left.

Finally, before you go out and sign your loan documents, be sure you understand all the terms and conditions you’re agreeing to.  If your sales person won’t help you with this, find another one who will.  Loan brokers often stick in little clauses that sound confusing but can impact you in a major way.  For example, a loan that prohibits you from making extra payments means that you’re stuck with the loan for its duration, even if you’d like to pay it off early.  Understand everything you’re signing, and if you aren’t satisfied, negotiate to change the terms of the loan to something you’re comfortable with.

It may be a recession, but prom is bigger than ever. With more and more proms happening earlier in the year, prom season is now just starting to kick into high gear. You can check out my friend’s blog, Prom Blogger, for more info.

With over 400 million people speaking Spanish as their native tongue (and counting!); it’s easy to see how you’ll benefit from learning Spanish as a second language.  Not only will you be able to communicate with a wider range of people, you may also find that adding language skills makes you eligible for promotions and advancement at work.  While some people feel a little scared about even attempting to learn Spanish, there are three ways you can start to learn the language.  These are some of the easiest language instruction methods available today, just be sure to pick the one that best suits your style of learning.

Spanish Teaching Software Programs and CD/DVD Systems

There seems to be a new Spanish software program popping up every day, so it can be very difficult to determine which system is the best of you.  One of the most popular is Rocket Spanish. Nevertheless, you need to understand how these programs work and whether or not you can benefit from them.

Spanish speaking software programs work through repetitive learning methods.  Whether you use an internet-based program, learn through a DVD or CD, or via an actual software program on your computer, you’ll find yourself repeating words and phrases, studying visual images and practicing your conversational skills.  In addition, most of these programs come with workbooks, flash cards, and even audio tapes that your can use in your car.  Other benefits include service and support for the times you have difficulties. 

When you use a software program, you’ll typically find progress tests you can take to determine how you’re doing.  These types of programs generally have a very high success rate, and can be purchased for under two hundred dollars.  They are especially helpful if you need to learn Spanish quickly, such as for an upcoming trip, since they tend to focus on commonly used phrases and expressions.

Of course, one of the disadvantages to these systems is that you won’t have anyone to actually hold a conversation with in Spanish.  To really get better at the language, you’ll want to find a conversation partner to practice your pronunciation on.  You may also find it easy to blow off the lessons if you’re very busy, so these programs typically work best for people who are self-motivated.

Attend Spanish Classes

If you avoided learning Spanish in high school because it seemed too hard, you can still learn Spanish by going back to college and taking Spanish classes.  There are several benefits to learning Spanish through this type of teaching. 

When you’re in a classroom with other people who are learning Spanish, you’ll be able to hear firsthand the sounds of the language.  This can be a very important part of learning Spanish quickly and correctly.  If your teacher is very good, you’ll learn quickly, and benefit from other students’ learning as well. 

One of the problems with this type of Spanish instruction is that you may feel lost in the crowd, if the number of students enrolled is too high for you to be comfortable with.  If you feel awkward or nervous speaking a new language in front of strangers, or if the cost of attending in-person classes is too high, you may want to consider alternative methods.

Immersion into the Spanish Language

One of the best ways to learn the Spanish language is to immerse yourself in the culture.  While not everyone can take off for a month to go live in Mexico or Spain, there are probably large populations of people speaking Spanish right in your own city.  If you know someone who speaks Spanish, ask if you can practice using it with them when they see you.  Also, try shopping at one of the authentic stores in the area, ordering food in Spanish, and performing your other regular, everyday tasks using your new language skills.

Immersion is a great way to learn – and best of all, it’s free – but you may need to supplement it with a Spanish to English dictionary or a home study guide to help you understand the grammatical structure in more detail.

Many women experience headaches during the first and last trimesters of pregnancy.  During the first trimester, you may experience headaches due to an increase in the amount of hormones and blood your body produces to cope with the demands of pregnancy.  However, in the final trimester, it’s believed that the headaches are caused by the changes in your posture that result from pregnancy.  The extra weight of the baby can lead to imbalances in your body, causing many parts of your body to be pulled into uncomfortable positions.  As a result, many women experience an increase in back and neck pain, which can lead to more headaches.

For many women who have migraines, pregnancy can actually be a blessing.  The chemicals that your body produces too much of will be used up, leading to a decrease in number and severity of headaches.  However, there are a small number of women who don’t experience this benefit and may, in fact, have worse headaches.  If you have a history of migraines, make sure you discuss this fact with your doctor before you get pregnant – he or she may be able to recommend behaviors or natural remedies that decrease your chance of getting pregnancy-related headaches.  If you normally take medications to prevent migraines, you should also check with your doctor before becoming pregnant to determine if any of the medications you’re taking have chemicals that aren’t safe for your baby.

The best defense against pregnancy headaches is to avoid your known triggers.  Foods that include MSG, caffeine, and chocolate are known to be triggers for headaches.  Some spicy foods and cheeses can also contribute to the onset of a headache.  Of course, most of these foods aren’t really healthy in the first place, so when you’re pregnant, it’s best to avoid them even if you don’t experience headaches.  Stress is also a major cause of headaches, so try to remain calm as much as possible, and ignore the little things that can trigger a headache.

In addition, there are many ways to treat a headache naturally.  If you’ve developed a headache from stress and tension, try applying a cold compress to the back of your neck.  Many women experience relief after lying down in a dark, cool room as well.  You can also try using relaxation techniques, including aromatherapy or soft music.  Some women prefer to use a heating pack as well, and if your headaches are due to pulled muscles in your neck, you might try an over-the-counter heating cream.  If none of these techniques or tips provide any relief, contact your physician as soon as possible to see if your headache is caused by something more severe that fatigue or stress.

Most headaches will go away with time. However, if your headaches aren’t improving or if you have swelling in your feet or hands, you should contact your doctor immediately.  In these cases, your headaches may be caused by something else altogether.  There are medications you doctor can prescribe if the pain becomes unbearable, but it’s important to speak with your doctor about treatment options before you get pregnant if you already suffer from severe headaches.  It may take a long time to get a prescription, and you may have to go in for an appointment if you wait to share this information until you have a headache.

Many times during pregnancy, a prenatal doctor orders bed rest.  There are many benefits to bed rest and there are several reasons bed rest may be recommended.  While many doctors disagree on which conditions require bed rest, each case should be treated on its own merits.

The following are four of the most common reasons doctors order bed rest for pregnant woman:

Prevention of Preterm Labor

Preterm labor is a serious condition that affects many women.  While the cause of preterm labor cannot always be determined, it is defined as labor that begins before 37 weeks of gestation.  Babies born before this time are not normally capable of surviving outside of the womb on their own, as much of a baby’s organ development happens within the last month of pregnancy.  Consequently, babies born prematurely are at risk for respiratory problems and respiratory infections.

The signs of preterm labor include:

Six or more contractions within a hour, spaced regularly apart
Dull backache for more than one hour
Increased pelvic pressure
An increase or change in vaginal discharge
Ruptured membrane
A feeling as though your baby is trying to push downward

If you have any of these signs and symptoms, call your doctor immediately.  Many times bed rest will help relieve these symptoms and can actually slow down or prevent preterm labor.

Incompetent Cervix

An incompetent cervix occurs when the cervix is not strong enough to hold the weight of the baby as it grows.  If left untreated, there is a chance the baby may be lost during the second trimester.

With an incompetent cervix, the cervix begins to thin and widen prematurely.  The condition is an anatomical abnormality.  The cervix normally remains closed during pregnancy until labor starts.  However, in the case of incompetent cervix, the cervix begins to open from the pressure of the growing baby.  The cervix will thin and start to open without any labor contractions, and the membranes that surround the fetus begin to bulge down through the opening in the cervix.  These membranes eventually break and the baby is born early.

There are a few treatment options for an incompetent cervix.  Bed rest is recommended     most often; however, if there is a past history of a loss, your physician may recommend a  cerclage.  This is a minor procedure in which a stitch is placed in the cervix to keep it from opening.  Bed rest is usually recommended after this procedure as well.

High Blood Pressure

High blood pressure during pregnancy can cause many different problems.  Pre-eclampsia and eclampsia are two of the most common complications from high blood pressure during pregnancy.  These two conditions can affect the amount of blood that reaches the unborn baby.  This means your baby receives less food and oxygen, which can result in lower birth weights.  Bed rest can help to lower your blood pressure by reducing the amount of physical stress your body is under.

Multiple Babies

If a woman is expecting more than one baby, there’s generally a consensus that bed rest should be required past the fifth or six month, since the weight of the babies can cause pressure on the cervix and it’s very easy for an expectant mother of multiple babies to go into premature labor.  Since multiple births usually produced smaller babies, it is essential that the pregnancy last as long as possible to give the babies the best chance of survival.

While bed rest is often out of the question for some women, such as single mothers or caregivers, the choice to not follow your doctor’s orders can sometimes have disastrous results.  Speak with your doctor about any concerns you have and try your best to abide by your doctor’s advice if you’re ordered to bed rest during your pregnancy.

We’re just a few days away from Thanksgiving. Personally, I don’t like the holiday. I know it may sound un-American, but there is just something about pilgrims and turkeys that freak me out. I also just don’t like daytime holidays in general…they day just keeps dragging on. I’m not into Black Friday shopping since it is way too crowded, and I just don’t think sales are really that good.

There are other reasons I don’t like Thanksgiving; I guess I just associate it with some more annoying periods of my life. So maybe I am just taking out personal issues on a perfectly decent holiday; who knows :).

My favorite holiday is definitely halloween. The party atmosphere, the candy, and the costumes! As grownups, its really the only day of the year we get to wear adult costumes, unlike the kiddos that seem to have more excuses to play dressup.  Halloween is the one time of the year ladies are allowed to dress scantily and no one can give us grief about it. I’m not sure how that tradition started, but I like it!

If you think about it, halloween is one of the few holidays that has something for everyone. For kids, they have the candy. For us adults, we have the parties. For senior citizens…well, I guess halloween isn’t as great for them, unless they are a partying granny :).